The Imancipated Motherhood series is written by one of our NYM iNKSisters who is a mother of one young child, with another on the way. From one Imancipated mother to another…
Generally, we set personal standards and guidelines as to how we feel we should raise our children. This tends be the root of excitement, anxiety and significant frustration. Each of these emotions carries with them a major weight that trickles into our interactions with our little ones.
Are they going to be receptive to what we teach them? Even after investing so much time in them, why don’t I see an effect? How I can make them be interested?
It is perfectly natural for our frustrations to get the best of us in these situations. There is pressure to be the perfect parent, so we try to muster up our own ways of teaching our young ones.
Allah (SWT) says, “Surely the soul is wont to command (towards) evil except, such as my Lord has mercy on” (12:53).
There is infinite wisdom in the words above. Ar-Rahman (the All Merciful), our Creator, recognizes our innate reactions to stressful instances.
What do we say before any act? We say:
بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم
Bismi-llāhi r-raḥmāni r-raḥīm, or
In the name of God, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.
Therefore, the dhikr (remembrance) of Allah (SWT) should already correct our intention and this is how we can exercise self-discipline. Our children are a reflection of what AND how we teach.
It is our duty to recognize the division between harshness and discipline. Even though our innate tendencies may lead us to be tough with our children about absolutely everything, we must approach teaching with the right intention. The intention that your we are raising this vulnerable being to be a flag bearer for our deen – A leader in their time.
May Allah (SWT) keep our intention focused on raising our children to serve this deen and world, in the path of Allah (SWT). Ameen.